I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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