you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
