Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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