the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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