I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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