so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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