He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ugly people sure do ruin things
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
