the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
