sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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