Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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