I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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