Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
