dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
