When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
