dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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