I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
