I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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