her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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