Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
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