It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
