You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize