2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
