My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
