On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
