The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
