I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
