eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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