if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
