2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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