he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
