also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
