Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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