Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
