party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
