he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
