Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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