Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I could fuck to npr.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize