this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
