im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
