I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
