I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
