found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Small penises have feelings too.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
