dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this boner is exhausting
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
