They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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