He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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