Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize