I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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