is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
