the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So vagazzling was a success
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
