During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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