your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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