My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
