dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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