I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
