If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
