Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i was born a porn star she said
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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