Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
