i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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